All of you college students out there, especially you young ’uns without a 21-year-old roommate (which I have been lucky enough to obtain), know how great it is to sit back and toss a few back after midterms, maybe play a few drinking games. You all have picked your favorites, whether you’re a fan of an ale, a lager, or maybe some cheap ass light beer you pick up every time you and your buddies make a midnight Albertson’s run.
And, unfortunately, a lot of you incoming freshies might not comprehend the importance of your (and your parents’) monetary situation, what with tuition, rent, and food. But, hell, that doesn’t mean you have to give up that great beer belly you’ve been growing all summer like an Irish science project! You’ve just got to lower your standards a little. Luckily for you, I have comprised a list of the Top Ten College Beers, all of which are affordable and have a somewhat decent taste. But again, what college student cares about the taste as long as the effects are the same? Unless you’re a lame frat bastard--notice I said frat bastard…no typo there.

10. Milwaukee’s Best- Wow…best? I don’t know whether to feel bad for Milwaukee or to just let them think they have a good thing going for them. It literally tastes like a slice of bread with old Pabst and bong water poured over it. But hey, if you love messing with your roommates by unleashing the ultimate farts, then this beer is for you!

9. Mickey’s Malt Liquor- You might feel a little ghetto when you unscrew the cap off of one of these green bottled babies, but the taste is decent and with an alcohol content of 5.6% and the price of a 40 oz. at $2.99, you can’t go wrong. Great for ‘King’s Cup’ and ‘Edward Forty-hands.’

8. Miller Lite- Definitely not one of my favorites, but if I’m in the mood for something a little watery and a can of this crap is in the room, I’ll plug my nose and take it. Although, a lot of you might already be inclined to drink Miller, so be my guest! Just pour this shit into a beer bong and take it before it gets a chance to touch your taste buds.

7. Pabst Blue Ribbon- The epitome of the phrase, “Legends never die.” This beer was a favorite of Honest Abe’s back in the time of the American Civil War. If it’s still around after this long, there must be something good about it. The taste is alright, and it’s an ideal cheap beer to hand out to the females while you horde the Coor’s to yourself.

6. Tecate- Olé! This fine Mexican brew is a favorite for all of those amigos in your group. Even if you’re a gringo, it still manages to pass along the tongue without too much of a cringe. Put a little lime juice in there and sip on it while you watch some bullfighting...just watch out for headaches in the morning!

5. Corona- Ok, ok, I know this doesn’t really constitute as a “prime college beer,” mainly because it’s a bit pricier than the assholes listed above, but it really hits the spot on nights like Tequila Thursday when you’re too much of a douche-nugget to take some Sauza shots, and don’t want to look like a fag walking around with only margaritas. Add a squeeze of lime and a pinch of salt for optimal satisfaction.

4. Bud Lite- A beer that's actually worth your money! I know many frat bastards would disagree with me...again note that frat is not a typo...when I say that this is one of the first beers on this list that is both cheap and a beer that gives you more bang for your buck. Yes, it's only 4.2% alcohol, but it's a beer that you can actually enjoy drinking while you work on that buzz. Ideal for high focus games like 'Beer Hockey' and 'Irish Poker.'

3. Natural Light- Natty up! Great times with this beer. This is a brew that you need to get a taste for. I guarantee the first time you drink it, you will think one of your douchebag friends refrigerated a can of cat piss and handed it over to you as a "Welcome, freshie!" After getting down a couple dozen cans during your first week of classes, however, you'll be praising the Natty. "The Natty is your crew, and also your brew. Don't trash the Natty, let the Natty trash you!"

2. Keystone- Ah, Keystone. The Key to life. The Key to college. The Key to a great buzz. Like Natty, Keystone is a beer you might have to get a taste for. First time I drank it, my face screwed up to look like Renee Zellweger's face looks normally. After a while though, you can taste a hint of apple juice...don't know what it is, but it's great! This is the prime brewsky for beer pong.

1. Coor’s Light- And finally, the Silver Bullet, the Banquet Beer, the King of Beers...ok, that last name is a Budweiser trademark, but I'd be willing to debate it. Coor's has never let me or any other normal college guy down. Not only does the sweet, robust taste help to relieve even my most stressful moments, but even the damn can is glorious! That iconic, iridescent silver can with the majestic rocky mountains rising in the background...I feel bad throwing that shit away when I'm done with it!